"Low Boy's Day at the Beach"

by

Ray Smith

 Low Boy, a half-grown male, had gotten used to his position near the bottom of the social chain of power and prestige-- deprived of any sexual activity, eating left-overs and generally enduring postures of bad intentions from the alpha chimps who ran the show.

It wasn't so much that he was disliked -- every-so-often the alphas would actually groom him, picking lice and other vermin from his ears and between his toes, and generally fluffing up his fur. Made him feel good, accepted, even loved. But there remained the code of the troop. Only Alpha's could procreate; only they had the required genetic stuff capable of ensuring the troop's survival. Alpha's were born to rule, dominate; the troop needed their pure blood uncontaminated by lesser genes. Any offspring resulting from the seeds of lower males would eventually produce creatures lacking intelligence, slick-ability, cunning, and other traits only the Alpha's possessed.

Low Boy had no interest in destroying the myth; after all, he might become an alpha himself one day. But he did wonder.

He wondered why he kept catching the Alpha females eyeing his horn; looking him up and down as if he was something good to eat.

They had this way of beckoning with their eyes -- not exactly, a wink but something between a coquettish glance and an eye rolling come on. He was puzzled. What were they trying to do, get him killed?

Once when Alpha number three caught him smiling back he knocked him down, then proceeded to hump him like he was a female or some other type of low life.

But the females never stopped flirting so finally Low Boy decided to consult with one of the senior apes who once was an Alpha himself until he lost his steam, and couldn't cut the mustard any more (so to speak). Got himself demoted, reduced in rank, only able to hang out with the kids.

"Why they be flirting all the time? With all them top-shelf Alpha's to choose from! What they want with me?"

The old dude by the name of Crumpet scratched his head, took Low Boy by the hand, sort of father-like, and led him over to a quiet spot surrounded by tall grass where they wouldn't be heard. After peeking through the grass, making sure no one was near he gave Low Boy the following explanation:"Just because they Alphas don't mean they can satisfy all the various and peculiar appetites that females have from time to time. Every so often they wants something different, that all. Further more them Alphas got so much else to do, like fighting off invaders, chastising loud mouthed females, and with keeping the harem happy, often they be plan old tired."

"Now Alpha females, they ain't got to do all that much: laying around getting serviced only when they feel like it, concocting up headaches when they don't and generally acting like Miss Ann (or is it Ms. Thang now a days?).

"What you got to understand is that timing is everything. You got to be available when the Alpha's ain't. Then you can sneak a little piece and if the ladies like your stroking, next time they'll let you know when it's safe."

Low Boy looked unsure and confused, trying to decide if Crumpet was lying or jiving or maybe playing a trick.

"You sure that's the way it goes? I ain't never seen you getting none lately."

"Course you ain't. That's the point; that's what I'm trying to explain! Ain't nobody suppose to know except you and the lady. And she only confides in a few real close friends. Other wise all types of unusual and dangerous hell would be breaking out all over the troop. And don't you repeat what I told you cause if you do I'll call you a lie in public and kick your ass to boot. I'm just answering your question, being friendly like an elder suppose to do."

Crumpet peeked, once more, through the bushes, making sure the coast was clear, then made a bee line back to where the troop was playing chess. He whistled a jaunty tune like he had nothing but harmonious thoughts in his head.

Low Boy stayed to himself for a spell, pondering what he had heard. Then flirty females sure was looking good and his maturing sexual urgencies were getting to be a real problem.

What did he have to lose? Getting beat-up-on was happening anyway. And he remembered what he had once heard his grandfather say: "it's a poor ass that can't take an occasional kicking."

But he had always practiced caution, considering his station in life; he didn't take many chances. Normal, run-of-the mill, chastising was one thing, but to go out of your way for some extra thumps. He'd have to weight the risks and maybe come up with a plan and between weighing and planning, a scheme emerged, plain as day, of how he could get the Alphas to leave their territory, on a mission they couldn't refuse.

First thing he'd have to do was to make friends with the group of bad, unattached chimps who hung out in a thicket down the road, outside of the Alpha's territory, plotting a take over.

He began to make frequent trips using various ploys and deceptions, bringing gifts of food and conversation. He got to be so friendly that they recruited him as sort of spy or part-time scout. His assignment was to determine the physical condition of the Alpha's, locate weak spots, and stir up confusion.

There were only six dudes in the renegades' group but they were fit and ready. Knew they were bad; but not stupid! Spoils ain't never gone to losers.

Low Boy was quick to take the job; it fitted in with his own plans. Without appearing obvious he began to spent more time hanging out near the Alphas special meadow known as the retreat, offering to buy them beer, scratch their backs and sweep up the mess they were always making. His tender care began to make them complacent and trusting.

Soon they cut back on their training, quit doing roadwork, slept late and neglected the ladies. Although no longer in peak condition they could still rumble, but not as effectively. It was, however, a situation that allowed Low Boy to initiate the next phase of his plan.

One day he made some excuse about the need to meditate and went down the road. The roving bands of six were waiting. "Then Alpha's is out of shape and over the hill"; Low Boy announced. "Females complaining about not being taken care of properly. They keep asking, what's wrong with these washed up jocks. This would be the perfect time to take over."

"All want for myself" he added, "is a few choice pieces. You'all can have the rest."

The elated six began jumping up and down, giving each other high fives in joyful anticipation of all the good stuff soon to be theirs.

"Now don't come in too soon" Low Boy cautioned. "Give me enough time to get them drunk or at best feeling loose and lazy. I'll start serving them beer about nine o'clock, right after breakfast."

The renegades stopped their premature celebration long enough for Low Boy to continue.

"When they get to be really feeling good I'll come back and let you know."

Low Boy's announcement received mixed reviews and suspicious frowns. He decided he'd better re-phrase and clarify what he meant.

"I ain't trying to give no orders or nothing like that. We need to be cautious, that's all."

The renegades had their own leader by the name of Roonadell. He decided Low Boy could be trusted and allow him to leave.

When he got back, he walked solemnly towards the Alphas' retreat with a pensive look, as if the meditation had elevated him to a new blissful state of consciousness. It was getting late. The troop was preparing to bed down for the night. Low Boy checked the supply of beer and took a few cold ones for the Alphas' inner circle. After he'd served a round, he requested permission to share some news.

"While I was strolling along in my contemplative mood, I just happened to stray over to where then interlopers was shooting dice, just like they had nothing better to do." He waited to see if he had their attention. Feeling their eyes glued in his direction, he continued.

"You'll know, I ain't one for telling tales out-of-school, but what I heard needs to be shared-- for the safety of the troop!"

Everybody knew who Low Boy was talking about. Wasn't but one group stayed down at that part of the road.

"What they was saying is that tomorrow, right after lunch, they gonna come up here and kick some ancient hind parts and take over. They say that you been on top too long and you just a bunch of has-been."

Watching their reaction Low Boy cringed. The Alphas was acting upset. Alphas number one, named DanDowin, got up from sitting on his heels, and started walking around with his arms folded behind his back, looking stern. He raised a hand to quiet the group and began to speak.
"This ain't the first time we been challenged by idle upstarts, and we ain't hung on this long by being chicken. As for being over the hill, I don't know about the rest of you but I'm as bad as I ever been--maybe better."

"How do the rest of you feel about your own manhood? Ain't we still the cock of the walk? Ain't our females happy? You ever see any of them sashaying down the road to get their needs satisfied? Course not! And it won't be happening, unless you'all don't feel like Alphas anymore."
He began to gaze in the air, with arms raised, gesticulating like he was talking to the supreme Alpha with certainty of purpose, but unsure of where he lived.

"Being top dog is feeling a natural spark that makes you walk tall, like you is somebody. We were born with this grace, this divine blessing. It can't be bought, rented, or borrowed unless we agree and allow it to happen. Jest cause they down their acting manished don't mean they got what it takes."

"Ain't but two way to have the spark: being born with it or letting some low life steal it from you. So what you'all gonna do, jest let them take it?"

Angry and alarmed the troops pouted in unison.
"Who do you they think they messing with, some chumps?"

"We ought to get on down there now! No need to delay."
Low Boy, thinking about his long-range strategy, tried to suggest a cautious approach.

"You'll could do it right now, with ease. But why not teach them a real lesson, with no chance of a re-match? A spectacularl victory would be a global warning to all others who might challenge your right to rule. Can't you visualize the press report: Legitimate authority puts arrogant militants in their place? Peace reigns in the fields and tree tops! For years to come no one would dare challenge conventionality."

After hearing Low Boy's comments, the troop appeared less aroused. An air of calmness and confidence returned. It was decided that a good night's sleep was the best preparation. And so, after a few ceremonial stretches and ape-like roars, off they went to their favorite sleepy places. Evening shadows crept over their habitants. Soon the sun slipped quietly below the horizon. All that greeted the darkness was occasional snoring and the minor mutterings of sleeping warriors dreaming of tomorrows triumph.

Meanwhile Low Boy, who had been faking a snore, began listening attentively to determine if all were asleep. Being satisfied he crept from his pallet and headed up the road.    A strange feeling of intrigue and excitement energized his spirit. He pondered the situation. He was scared but, damn! This was fun!

What's the worst that could happen: the Alphas would win or be defeated. In either case, he'd be better off. Who ever came out on top would be in his debt. He began to chuckle. "Either way I win!"

When Low Boy came upon the renegades they were practicing attack positions, sharpening their teeth and wearing camouflage uniforms made from branches of palm trees.

"I see you'all getting ready" he observed, "but you wont need them suits. They gonna be so hung over all you got to do is show up. Won't be much resistance. Just bust in and watch them scamper. The ladies be smiling with anticipation. No need to be doing anymore training. Don't want to leave the fight in the gym, do we? Get some rest; save your energy, jest in case."

As they gradually ended the exercise the renegade leader, Roonadell, took center stage and started chanting a secret mantra unique to their species. He lowered himself to a sitting position and sat on his heels, breathing in and out a sound resembling a vibrating Z. The others sat as in a trance while the sound gradually diminished. Low Boy took this opportunity to plant a subliminal message, "Don't attack before one, not before one, not before one," and so on.

When all were captured in a deep sleep, Low Boy took off.

He returned to the Alphas' retreat, and slipped back to his sleeping place. He thought about the next phase of his Plan: No beer with breakfast, after which they would have their usual pep rally to get the blood hot and pumping. He wouldn't be leaving with the warriors; only Alpha's had that privilege.

While they were gone he'd check out them winks; were they for real or only idle female flirtation. Did Crumpet have the score right or was he suffering from old- age dis-remembering.

He joined in the cheering, with genuine enthusiasm, as the warriors departed, until they were of sight. Almost immediately, he notices a look of relief among the females.
They began to shake hands and hug each other and formed a little dancing circles. With curiosity and anticipation, he listened in on their conversation.

Alpha sister, two (a): "I'm so glad they be out of here. Now we can have some fun!"

Alpha sister three (b): "Hope they be down there fighting till this time next week.

Alpha sister two (b): "I hope they lose; we could sure use some new blood. That old stuff's to tired. Look at them puny babies we got last season?"

Alphas sister three (a): "I know what I'm gonna do. You know that young stud stays by himself over there on the hill? Well I guess I'll wonder over there, sort of by accident, and see what happens. See you'all."

Other females also began stepping away, all except one. She was smiling at Low Boy, eyes twinkling and looking demure. She moved closer and began stroking his back, all the time humming a flirtatious ditty.

Low Boy feeling a delicious quiver along his pine relaxed and closed his eyes. Then he felt himself being pulled by the hand towards a near-by cluster of bushes. When they were out of sight they began to caress each other which soon led to feverish fondling, Finally she turned her rear towards him and he mounted, stroking as if this was his first, and maybe his last, piece. They kept at it until both were dog tired, then rested, nestled in each other arms, satisfied and content. Low Boy drifted off to sleep dreaming about when he could do it again.

Suddenly he was awakened by cheers coming from the Alpha's retreat. His companion was nowhere in sight.

The shouts were an indicator that someone had been victorious; but who! He hurried back, joining in with the others , his companion was standing some distance away with a peculiar smile on her face. She looked over at Low Boy only once; her smile widened slightly, and then she looked away and continued clapping with exaggerated wildness.

It appeared that the old guard had won. They stood in the center of the clearing on a slightly raised mound, telling war stories about unmatched bravery and cunning; superior strategies and resourcefulness.

There were, however, signs that the battle had been intense. Bloody wounds were visible, gradually their enthusiasm for the celebration began to wane; movements were tortured and slow. It wasn't long before they decided that all they really wanted was to drink a little beer and get some rest.

They settled into drinking hardly noticing that the females were still smiling in a strange fashion that seemed to have nothing to do with their victory; acting like they, themselves, had won something. While the chief, Alpha DanDowin, began surrendering to sleep female Alpha (a) was staring dreamily at the ground, fingering the leaves on a twig as if they were coins of enormous value, and smiling (actually it was more like a sleepish grin). The chief thought for a moment on the fickleness of women, but he was too tired to investigate further and was soon lost in the dreams and pain of victory.

Low Boy, consumed in his own thoughts, was also smiling, and formulating his next move. The old guard has won today, but time was on the side of the renegades. They'd learn from this encounter and be better prepared next time out. Low Boy could never be an alpha without allies and the renegades were his best chance. Should he join them or stay put, biding his time.

As he thought about the future, he was interrupted by a soft tap on his shoulders. He turned and saw his afternoon companion, smiling and looking innocent and delectable. He took her by the hand and, together they went off into the bushes. He'd finish his plans later