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Letter to my Father by Lisa Brimmers
dear mr. so & so:
I hope to
survive your surname without
your surname. I strive to augment
your interpretation of a "who
am I this time?" story by
introducing you to a tall tale
tell all of my own. I
remember the MC HAMMER
and Barbie Doll families
that made me possible.
I am the plastic on plastic
lovechild and may be that
made me possible. You didn't
make me possible. You didn't
make rent.
Dear Mr. So & So,
Forget
the rules you were
taught about order.
Forget the way my mother
called you by your name.
How can I teach you
that anyone can bastardize
scripture and get away with it.
Amen.&
the dish ran away with the spoon.
Dear MR. SO & SO:
You forgot
the spoon.
Mr. So & So:
Please do
not be angry. I read Baldwin's
The Fire Next Time and wanted
to talk to you about it. I read
Baraka's The Dead Lecturer
and wanted to talk to you about it.
I read until my eyes blurred
on Vladimir Mayakovsky's words
about his Mamma, until my eyes
stung as I read a few words
about himself. I too
"am as lonely as a man
on his way to the blind." Please
do not be angry.
Mr. So & So:
(In Blue)
Something about a Thelonious
Monk sound 'Round Midnight
and a piano. Something
about hands on a piano. Something
slower about hands on my mother.
Something slower about hands
in an approach to may be
,writing in effigy of touch
and the fictile sense
of the pen in my
hand on the paper.
Dear Mr. So & So:
I'm eager
to hear about the weather, however,
I wonder, how ever did you get into
the business of (x?)
I've always wondered how I'm going
to get through to you
without a name. Maybe I'll start in
Chicago. I've always wanted to
visit. Maybe you can teach
me about your business. Maybe
I can teach you about your
(x?). About you. What color is your
raincoat? And, what color is your
briefcase? And how broad is your
nose? What color is your
lover? (x?ox?o)
Johnson was empT
colorless, you were
humming all d time through
porchlight. this is
a poem for d CITY. fastr
still, you
were humming
d whole time. d
3A had gone
and Johnson was empT
.at home
/d windows are
shut and lockd in front
/d door is
OPEN/d back window
,OPEN. nd this condition leads to
a slow cigarette ceremony/
a slowr rmchair undr
standing (STATEMENT)
of d way these things work
togethr
.((d image
nd PHRASE,d phrase
nd IMAGE ))
d moment will
b easier remembrd this
way:yr humming d whole
time.go
fastr, unbLEAVE
me please. i
read it as:
“yr fingrtips ovr
an ABDOMEN”
,but only evr could pronounce
it by another LOVrs
name
.i read it as:
“now, shown low"
.you hovr ovr d scar,building w/d
trellis btween yr fingrs.(rmchair
nd 3A,3A nd image).there
must B an obviation here if
nothing else
.a poem for D CITY is to
b undrstood as poly
phonic sound nd striated
light verse (us) d
apoplectic
pattrn.
how now then, shall we proceed
.when he was called alper
his voice was different and
broken also
softer. he was called
something different
, he was called by
his name
.angelo told him, alper, there was heaven
.who told him that if everyone believed what
they'dread he'd be inNEWYORKrightnow
.umberto only reminded them of missouri
.umberto always asked little and also wanted
less and
wanted only birdseed
then, pith
.angelo never trusted alper, not
for aminute. never trustedalper
, thought he might
leave so
that was when angelo had called in the bigdogs
,he
called in stanislaw
.who told him that
alper would be called by
his name
and nothingelse
.Isay, if there is only one catcall on thisstreetcorner
let it be forumberto
.Isay someone makes the decisions.
(now)
they are sipping espressO
they are sipping
theweather,theletter and
all seems melancholic
.espressO.someonemakesthedecisions,
sound--
.damn, alper, stanislaw heard thatshit...
.damn, alper, you BEThedid
you think "thatshit go on he don't know about"
you so stoopid, you really think "thatshit..."
flash--
damn, alper, he saw thatshit.
________________________________
(now)(again)
alper is crying
alper is candleeyed
,wide. alper is inDIANA
thinkin' about esPRESSo
andumberto
.diana thinks itsher, INFACT
,dianaknowshitsher
.Isay, these things don't operate
without undoing
the integrity of the
WHOLE
moment
,everybody knowsthat
you really think "thatshit..."
.espressO.someonemakesthedecisions
.angelo never trusted him
not for aminute and
when angelo chose to be a TALL man
his petite figure turned
, circled. when he chose
to explain LOSS he would spell
it c-a-t-h-a-r-t-i-c. (just to
piss off stanislaw)
.stanislaw knew. you think that shit go on
that stanislaw don't know about?
(then)
they were in cleveland
then, visiting friends
.stanislaw had a
tendency to
interrogate
his believers
,you could say it made himHOT
.they were in cleveland
then,stanislaw knew diana
well enough
.they all knew diana well
enough.you think that shit go on that
stansilaw don't know about?
they were in cleveland
then, and when alper entered
the cafe they all rose from
their seats-staggered,not allat
once.suspicion or silence
frogged in alper's throat. he couldn't
remember the darkgirl's name.
stanislawspokefirst as they sat
again.he presumed alper had already
met umberto since they had taken
espresso twice.
he assumed he knew
diana (ofcourseheknew diana).
he also assumed he knew who
he was.at the very least knew
what he was
to be called.
stanislaw spoke first as theysat
then, espressO inhand.
______________________
______________________
(then)again
for you I will call
that one umberto
and I will ask him if there
is a way for me to change
this into something more
simple. if there is something
I could ask him
to keep from a child.
(how)
he asks you to touch his gums
how
he asks you to touch his gums
and never to quit,he asks you
to quit
only appropriately and only
in time forappropriate
love. forappropriate
is hardly the thing anyone would
love in these times. hardly anyone
but umberto
could answer and finallybeckhislove
into being
. hardly anyone
but umberto had evr even said his
name OUTLOUD.
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